Best Parenting Tips and Lessons From Author Sudha Murty

Written by Shiksha Press

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Tips For Parents from Sudha Murty: Every Parent Needs To Know These

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Sudha Murty is an Indian educator, author and philanthropist who is chairperson of the Infosys Foundation.

Indian author, social worker, and dedicated parent Sudha Murty is renowned for her thoughtful perspectives on a diverse array of subjects.

In a recent speech delivered on a Youtube video titled ‘Every Parent Needs To Know These’, she delves into the pressures parents unwittingly impose on their children, the pitfalls of comparison, and the crucial need to respect each child’s individuality.

The Unwarranted Competition

Murty begins by illuminating various types of competition. Although competition is typically associated with markets, schools, or fields, she expresses her concern about the competition parents unknowingly instigate among their children.

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Simple queries about other children’s academic performance, she argues, foster detrimental comparisons. Murty emphasizes that each child is a unique entity, and equating one child to another is a grave error.

Overemphasis on Academic Excellence

Murty also sheds light on the excessive focus many parents place on their child’s academic prowess. This obsession can reach such extremes that parents quarrel with teachers over a single lost mark.

She advises against this conduct, suggesting that it not only imposes undue stress on children but also sets a precedent for relentless comparison and competition in their future lives.

The Imperfection of Perfection

Drawing from her teaching experience, Murty points out that no language, except Sanskrit, can achieve a perfect score of 100, as language is subject to individual interpretation.

Even in precise subjects like mathematics, she advocates for a certain margin of error. The ultimate goal should be to stimulate a child’s intellect rather than striving for unattainable perfection.

The Negative Impact of High Expectations

She further underscores the adverse effects of assigning undue importance to high marks. Such an emphasis can lead to burnout in children. They should understand that life isn’t a race to always be first. The world is teeming with talented individuals, and it’s unrealistic for one person to remain at the top forever.

Encouraging Self-competition

According to Murty, the healthiest competition for a child is with themselves, not others. They should aspire to surpass their own performance year after year. It’s crucial to allow children to shine in areas where they naturally excel, and not to force our own unrealized dreams onto them.

Encouraging them to pursue their passions, as long as they’re ethical, legal, and have some commercial viability, is paramount.

The Detrimental Effects of Unnecessary Pressure

Murty cautions parents against imposing unnecessary stress on their children by making constant comparisons. She brings attention to the growing number of teenagers suffering from high blood pressure due to stress about securing the top rank in class.

She asserts that such rankings hold little significance in real life. Understanding the realities and relevance of life is of greater importance.

Top 10 Parenting Tips By Sudha Murty

1. Refrain from comparing your child to others – every child is unique.

2. Encourage focus on learning and understanding, not just achieving high marks.

3. Perfection is subjective, especially in subjects like languages – effort and understanding are more important.

4. Protect children from burnout by teaching that life isn’t about always coming first, but doing their best.

5. Promote self-competition – personal growth is more important than outperforming others.

6. Respect and support your child’s passions and interests, don’t impose your own unrealized dreams.

7. Avoid introducing unnecessary stress into your children’s lives through incessant comparisons.

8. Teach that academic rankings hold little real-life significance – focus on real-life skills and knowledge.

9. Instill discipline, compassion, hard work, and patriotism in your child from a young age.

10. Encourage questions, and if you don’t know the answers, admit it honestly.

Final Remarks

In her closing statements, Murty underscores the significance of fostering discipline, compassion, hard work, and patriotism in children from a young age. She stresses that parents should encourage children to ask questions and, if they don’t know the answers, admit it openly.

Lastly, she reminds parents that they are raising children for the sheer joy of it, not as a future investment.


Sudha Murty’s insightful discourse offers invaluable parenting wisdom. She encourages parents to acknowledge their child’s unique strengths and refrain from applying undue pressure or encouraging unhealthy competition.

She advocates for stimulating a child’s curiosity, promoting their passions, and instilling them with the values of discipline and hard work. Ultimately, she highlights that parenting isn’t about expecting returns, but the sheer joy of witnessing a small child grow into a fine human being.

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